When David McCullough Jr. delivered the commencement address at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts this week, it turned out to be more special than anticipated. Why?

Because McCullough was gutsy enough to speak words rarely heard by teenagers. “You are not special,” he said. “You are not exceptional.”

As he went on to fully describe how graduates had been pampered and fawned over by adults, he spoke a great truth: “If everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless.”

A teacher of 26 years, David McCullough Jr. put in words what many educators and psychologists have been preaching for years, that education should be about learning, not about gaining material advantage. Without using the term social justice, he talked to graduates about the responsibilities of privilege, inviting them to experience the selflessness and joy that comes with the “recognition that you’re not special. Because everyone is.” read more »

When President Obama gave his annual “Back-to-School” address in 2011, he praised three extraordinary high school students for giving back to their communities. One was Jake Bernstein.

Jake is 17, [pictured at left] who volunteers with Autism Speaks and co-launched StLouisVolunteen.com with his sister Simone. He is also on the Youth Advisory Board of generationOn, a national effort to inspire, equip, and mobilize youth to change the world and themselves through service. The President urged students to become engaged in their communities, saying “America needs your passion, your ideas, and your energy….Nothing inspires me more than knowing that young people all across the country are already making their marks.”

What the President did not say should come as no surprise to educators. Teachers play a significant role in fostering the passion, ideas, and energy that motivates students to become engaged in their communities. This meaningful and important work happens every day in and outside of K-12 classrooms. read more »

The holidays are here — with sparkling lights, glittering trees, and magical store displays.

But as we look beyond the external, the research on child and adolescent development tells us something very important about what happens in children’s internal worlds. It’s a season that shapes their lifelong identities about giving. What are you doing this year to help children and teens internalize the gift of giving?

Of course, children associate the holidays with being receivers of gifts. But according to studies in human development, it is the giving of gifts that reaps the biggest psychological rewards. Parents can help children and teens realize these rewards by teaching them how to give back during the holiday season and throughout the year. There are many ways to give back, including through the excellent projects listed below. read more »

Eden Eskaros is a 10-year-old who had an eye-opening experience on her first visit to Mexico last year.

She was struck by the fact that children lived in dismal situations, using cardboard boxes as beds and walking on the harsh earth with no shoes. Eden was moved to help these children by making a commitment to bring back 100 pair of shoes on her next trip.

She returned home to New Jersey and enlisted the aid of a local shoe store and her church. As a result, she’s prepared to send over 1,000 pair of shoes to her new friends in Mexico.

Eden’s story is a great example of how children are often transformed by face-to-face interactions with people living in poverty.  Clearly, Eden has developed the ability to empathize, to put herself in the place of another.  Most children develop this capacity by the age of six and are capable of taking action to help people in need. They particularly benefit from seeing the direct benefits of their actions. read more »

When teens speak, do people listen?

Natalie, age 18, described her role model as a person with “a clear sense of what is important to her, putting forth the effort to improve and create things that will make a difference.” When Samira, also 18, feels “lazy, tired, or just plain annoyed,” she thinks of her role model and “is motivated to start working again.”

Natalie and Samira were part of my research study on how young people develop the skills, abilities, and motivation to become engaged citizens. They and 42 other college students recalled stories of their childhoods and adolescence and the kinds of people who inspired them.

Role models come into young people’s lives in a variety of ways. They are educators, civic leaders, mothers, fathers, clergy, peers, and ordinary people encountered in everyday life. This study showed than being a role model is not constrained to those with fancy titles or personal wealth.  In fact, students were quick to state that “a true role model is not the person with the best job title, the most responsibility, or the greatest fame to his or her name.” Anyone can inspire a child to achieve their potential in life. read more »

Yes, service and learning go together!

And parents can play an important role in helping tweens and teens get the most from service learning during the summer months!

Research shows that civic engagement promotes higher academic achievement and develops many skills, including critical thinking, organizing, and planning. It also helps young people form an identity, an essential role of adolescence. But all volunteer jobs are not created equal and finding the best experiences for teens can be challenging.

Most likely, you have heard the term service learning. It usually refers to an organized program, part of a school curriculum, that gives kids the opportunity to link what they learn in the classroom to real world situations in their communities. Service learning programs work with a variety of community agencies that agree to work with schools to provide rich learning opportunities for youth. read more »

I believe families, schools, and communities share one goal.  We want our children to thrive.

We wish for happy, healthy, and successful children who flourish as adults.  A straightforward goal; yet every parent and teacher understands its challenges.

As a developmental psychologist and member of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA), my work recognizes the natural and manifest potential of youth. While parents and schools are often quick to blame each other when children fail to thrive, it is time for a change in perspective. Why?  Because the decisions about parenting, educating, and mentoring children depends a great deal on how we think about youth development, how we define success, and what questions we ask of ourselves. read more »